Local study shows that love for baseball requires penis!

Well, that seems to be the case in my workplace anyway. Today ALL the guys were picking out their game days for the upcoming baseball season. These game days are being paid for with company money from what I gather. So if there are 'free' baseball tickets being handed out here, do you think anyone asked me what days I'd like to go? Nope. Are they forgetting that last season I was glowing with anticipation on the days that I was going to a game? Are they forgetting all the times I came into work last season talking about what a great homer Barry hit? Apparently so. The degree of sexism at my job astounds me. I guess that's part of the male brain I will never understand - how they think they are so goddamn superior to women. Women's Lib amounts to shit in this place. I've fucking had it.

I fucking hate my job!!!

[ begin rant ]

Have you ever hated your job? Have you ever hated your job so much that it makes you wanna cry at least once a week? Have you ever caught yourself reaching for the stapler to lob at someone's head? (and almost not catch yourself in time?) Well, unfortunately I know how all these things feel. I am in a living hell 5 days a week, 8am to 5pm, AND I'M GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM!

I found out recently what everyone in my company makes. Now, I don't care what the pres. and vice pres. make since it's THEIR company, but what about my coworker? The one who technically came to the company AFTER I did. The one who is currently doing EXACTLY what I was doing 3 years ago. But there is a difference in our jobs, oh yes, a BIG difference. You see, when I did the things he is doing now, (purchasing, packaging, shipping, quotes, and taking the occasional order) I made a measley twelve bucks an hour. That's a whopping $25K a year... Now guess how much this guy makes for THE SAME EXACT JOB? Go ahead, take a stab at it. Nope, go higher... No, higher... HIGHER I SAID! Fine, I'll just tell you... A HUNDRED AND EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS A FUCKING YEAR!!! And where am I? Well, I'm not going to post my salary on the internet, but Jesus H. Christ on a crutch - It sure as hell aint anywhere NEAR what that guy is making! PLUS, he gets another tax-free $1,000 a month for FAKE "expenses"!!! The company is paying his personal car lease, his personal auto insurance, his gas to and from work, and a bunch of "lunch meetings" with customers that don't even exist!!! So let's make that salary $120,000.00 a year, $12,000 of it TAX-FREE! This company would be lost without me, and they seem to think it's okay to pay me in peanuts, and you know why? BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A PENIS!

My lack of an ugly purple-headed yogurt-slinger is the only reason these guys can hardly close their wallets and mine's got cobwebs in it! I am so pissed I cannot even begin to convey it, but any woman who's been in my position can sympathize. And one of these days... I mean it, one of these days I'm going to rise out of this shithole and it's gonna be payback time! Fuckers.

[ end rant ]


Now for some mindless time-wasting...

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kthxbai.

Happy V.D.!

So is everyone ready for Valentine's Day? Ah, there's nothing that says scam like holidays invented solely to sell cards. This one's right up there with Mother's Day and Father's Day. But that's besides the point... In the spirit of this holiday, here are Hallmark's Top Ten Rejected Valentine's Day Cards:

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

Happy V.D. everyone! ;-)

Poke... Poke... Poke... Poke... CHOMP!

Poke the Bunny! (Poke him a really lot)

Met 'em again

So I mosied on down to the Warfield last night but this time got there early and hung around the bus from 5pm to 8pm. I was talking to a security guard who was hitting on me, so I played it off like I was flirting back so that he wouldn't shoo me away if any of the band members came out... And sure enough they did!!!
Brandon was the first to wander out, and he was a total sweetie. We talked for a minute, took a picture, he signed some stuff, and he had to hop on the bus to do an interview.
A little while later Mike came out... He wasn't so friendly, which suprised me since I hear he's usually the friendliest of the bunch, but I think he was in a hurry or something.
After a bit, Kilmore showed up... HE WAS AWESOME! That is the most nice, down to earth guy ever! I was racking my brain to try to remember even ONE of the questions people on here wanted answers to, but I was so stunned that I just drew a blank. I did however manage to ask Chris if they EVER planned on telling anyone who Chuck is, but Kilmore just laughed and said "No way! Never!" Kilmore fuckin rocks. Awesome guy all the way!
Then after quite some time, they all came off the bus, and I finally managed to catch Jose for a quick photo, but they were running late to get into the building and start the show, so I didn't really get to talk to him. It was so much better last night though, without a million little girls crowding around... there was only like 5 people out there at any given time. I definitely recommend trying to meet them BEFORE a show rather than after (got this tip from a security guard the night before).
Oh, and the sweetest thing ever... Brandon had my pen (and actually remembered) and came up behind me, put his arm around me for a second, and said "Here's your pen lovely." and scooted off. Aw, he called me "lovely"
Okay, so I sound like a fuckin groupie or something, but I'm not ashamed to admit that it made me feel all warm and gooey inside to hear him say that.
Unfortunately, Dirk(Alex) never showed up. I was pretty bummed about that... But wow, what an amazing evening!!! Oh, and I bumped into someone that knew me from the bbs (wazzup girl!), actually, it seems a lot of people remember me for having that CHUCK light-up-thingy..... Heh, I love toys.


Ahhhh... I can die happy now....

The Pit Report - SF Warfield 11/19/01

So I was down on the floor, moshing around and being drunk and feeling orgasmically happy just to be there in the crowd once again (it'd been a whole year since I last saw them!) But I was also feeling a bit sad that security made me check my camera since I got such a great spot. The setlist was AWESOME 'cause they included lots of stuff off science, and I also got noticed by the Incuboys because I had this toy where there are flashing red lights on the end of a plastic thing, and you spin it around and it spells a message... I programmed it to say "CHUCK" and after one song, Brandon saw it and started laughing and goes, "Yeah, Chuck! Alright!" and continued to rock the house. When it had appeared that they had finished after playing WYWH, my friend and I bolted out of the crowd, he went down to the coat check and got my camera, I got a Chuck doing karate t-shirt, and once I got my camera, disappeared back into the crowd just in time for the encore. I had my sweet little zoom lens and I don't know how the hell I did it, but I managed to get right back in front and shot an entire roll of photos in only two songs. They will be on my website by Monday, PROMISE!

The moment they were finished, we jammed out the door, got our posters (incredible artwork on these! I'll post a scan of one as well) and headed for the back door. After about an hour of bullshitting with security and almost kicking some glitter-bitch's ass for crowding into me, I saw an afro approaching the bus. (the amount of teenies outside was seriously pissing me off... I met the BIGGEST groupie ever out there) As soon as I saw Mike and Brandon (Jose, Dirk and Chris just hopped straight on the bus... suckas) I started spinning my "Chuck" thing and they immediately remembered me. They signed my poster, my science cd, and my enjoy cd, and were very very nice. I told Brandon thanks for such a great performance and that they did a great job, and he gave me a big smile and said thank you and shook my hand... It took me a moment to bring myself to let go. I asked Brandon if I could get a quick photo with him, and he said okay, but then one of his body guards literally grabbed him around his waist and dragged him to the bus... damn! But it was kinda funny to see him carted off like a little kid by his bodyguard.

Needless to say, I had one of the most wonderful nights ever. I just wish I could go to tonight's show! Oh, and you know that beanie that Brandon ALWAYS wears? Well it now belongs to some lucky bastard in San Francisco... yup, he chucked it into the crowd. Hope he has another one like it! Oh, and to top off my wonderful evening, I dreamed I was back at their show and chilled with the band for hours afterward, so in a way, I got to enjoy incubus twice! Woot! And hey, there were these two baby yorkies on the bus... anyone know who they belong to? They were so cute!

I moved!

I moved into my new apartment last Saturday!!! I love it, love it, love it! Of course, the place is a disaster right now since just about everything I own is on my living room floor. But I'm almost done fixing up the bedroom and then I will start on unpacking and putting away everything. I couldn't be happier though! And not to mention it's a 5 minute drive from work, I don't even have to get on the freeway. Can't beat that commute eh? Ah, life is good right now...