Just what I needed!

Oh thank god! For a minute I thought I was going to have to buy a NEW skull that's never been tested for brain-holding capabilities!

Do guys with mullets know they have mullets?

Apparently not. My mother and I were wondering if men who walk around with mullets know they're called "mullets" so we stopped at a hair salon this afternoon. I asked the two hairdressers near the door what men who want mullets ask for when they come in for a haircut. Do they say "I'd like a shiny new mullet please" or do they ask for "short in the front and long in the back?" After a good hard laugh out of the stylists and the ladies in their chairs, they informed me that they don't ask for a mullet, but rather describe the look they're going for.

So there you have it. The answer to the one question that I know plagues you day in and day out. You may sleep peacefully at night now, knowing that mullet-wearers do not know they have mullets.

Arrr matey! Where's me booty?

So a friend and I went out to dinner this evening and decided to have a little fun with the credit card signature.........

This is so sad

Last night I cleaned out my refrigerator. It was so full that when I bought something new, I had a hard time finding room for it in there. After cleaning out the 4 cartons of sour milk, the leftover curry chicken that had sprouted legs and threw a party, the piece of birthday cake from my 25th that still looked okay, but well... my birthday was in May, and all the other items which are too greusome to mention here, this is what I was left with:



Sad, isn't it?

Ack! What is that on your head? KILL IT!

I know, I haven't been updating lately.... I've been hard at work on a new site that will be launching soon. But this was just too noteworthy to pass up:

It's currently 3:40am and I had to run to the grocery store, and while in the checkout line, I couldn't help but notice there was a wild animal nesting on the head of the lady before me. Yes, that's right... A fucking raccoon had burrowed its head in this woman's brain and it's scraggly hairy butt was sticking out of the back of her skull. Or was it a sloth? Wait a minute.... That's not an animal at all!

This woman had the biggest mat of hair I have ever seen anywhere. I'm not just talking about a couple little knots in her hair. Oh nooo. This beast encompassed her entire skull with a large enough mass of knotted hair that it could easily serve as a portable pillow for her to sleep on. She had the few strands she'd managed to pick out of the bush on her head pulled up into a rubber band which amounted to a ponytail smaller than that of a three year old child's. I could tell from these few straggly strands that her hair was actually somewhat long, but as the vast majority of it was balled up into a likeness of teddy bear stuffing, it almost appeared that all of her hair was pulled up into that tiny ponytail. I could only imagine how long it'd been since she'd attempted to pull a comb through her hair. Then, to my stomach's demise, I imagined what her scalp beneath must look like. What bugs were crawling around in that mock afro?

I could only pity the elderly chinese man with her as I realized this man probably has the unpleasant job of sleeping next to this wretched creature on her head, and god only knows what else he has to do to her. *shudder*

Mi dia sucka

Sheesh......... So yesterday I was out walking my dogs and one of them was curiously sniffing something in the street - turned out to be a rat. But not a wild rat, I could tell immediately that this was someone's escaped pet rat. And it didn't look like it was feeling too well, and I thought it was probably dehydrated. So I got a shoebox and caught it (it didn't even TRY to resist) and brought it in to give it some water and food. I recalled hearing a loud rodentish squeak the previous night and thought my cats had found a mouse and were killing it, but upon investigating found my cats sleeping and no sign of a rodent intruder. So I'd figured the sound came from outside (my window was open) but realized that it was most likely this found rat being injured somehow. My mother thinks it may have fallen from a neighbor's window and was injured, which would explain its lethargy as well as the sound I heard the night before. (don't let those little lungs fool you - they can squeak quite loud) I used to have pet rats, so I had the stuff to care for it, but not wanting a pet rodent again, I made up some signs to go post along my street in hopes that the owner would contact me.

After posting them up, upon returning to my apartment, I realized I had locked myself out and there is NO window or anything to jimmy open to break in. So I went to my neighbor's apartment and she was kind enough to let me use her phone. But I couldn't get a hold of my mom to get my uncle's phone number who has my spare key, nor could I get the apartment manager or maintainance guy. I called some locksmiths and they all wanted $150 and up to pick the lock. So I took a walk to my uncle's ex-girlfriend's apartment up the street, not knowing if she even lived there anymore, but hoping that she would have his phone number or could give me a ride to his apartment. No one home. Returned to my neighbor's apartment and tried my mom again, this time she was home and gave me my uncle's cel number and his home number. His home line was busy, and his cel was going directly to voice mail. Called the operator to do an emergency breakthrough on his home line, and their equipment was having trouble and they told me to try back in 30 minutes. So I wait 30 minutes and try again, but this time they tell me there's a problem with the phone line and they're putting in a repair call on it. I waited another hour or two and tried again... still busy. So finally I resolved to shell out the cash for a locksmith and hope I could find a way to get my apartment manager to reimburse me. About 30 minutes after putting the call in to the locksmith, I tried my uncle's cel number again. He answered! But immediately said that he'd have to call me back because his cel battery was about to die. I managed to get in that I was locked out of my apartment and needed the key before his phone went dead. Well, I then tried his home number a couple times and on the third try it finally rang and turns out he was online the whole time. Grrrr. Expecting this to all be over with, I was unhappy to hear that he'd let his roommate use his truck to go to work and he was without a vehicle! After begging and pleading for him to figure something out, he decided to hop on his mountain bike and go to her work to get his truck (what a sweetie my uncle is!) He got here after a long time, and I finally got into my apartment after being locked out for about 5 hours.... IN MY PAJAMAS by the way!

Immediately, I went into the bedroom to check on the rat that started this whole ordeal, and the fuckin thing was DEAD.

Damn me and my soft spot for helpless/injured animals!!

Meow

You KNOW I had to buy this when I saw it:



Other flavors offered were "Vanilla Vulva", "Muffberry" and so on....

Off to Grandmother's house we go

Over the weekend I spent some time at my grandmother's house visiting with her and my father and his girlfriend. Much of the time spent there was helping her clean out the garage and organize my late grandfather's tools. And from this, I learned that I've got the absolute coolest grandmother on earth.

I opened up a large cabinet, about 3 feet wide, a couple feet deep and about 7 feet tall, filled wall to wall with various liquors. Now don't get me wrong, my grandmother is not a lush by any means, and most of what was in there is probably no good anyway (most bottles were horribly covered in dust) and I rarely see her drink any alcohol save for a glass of wine with dinner, but I noticed a neat pirate ship shaped decanter marked "Homemade Kahlua" and gave my grandmother a sideways glance. "Oh, I know a few recipies," she said grinning, and then I noticed the bottle that had been behind the kahlua.... A plain clear bottle marked in my grandmother's handwriting "Moonshine / White Lightning" and sure enough, upon opening it up to smell it, it was the real stuff. I wonder if I could persuade her to make me a bottle of it, heehee.

Oh, and I got to snag a few interesting antiques, including this old Dodgers bobble-head from who knows what era. After my father and I shamed my grandfather privately for having a Dodgers bobble-head and not a SF Giants version, we decided I'd give it the best home being the biggest baseball fan in the family.

Cat in the box

My kitty has decided to make his new bed out of a suitcase from a recent trip. I just love how his fat molds to the shape of it though.

Inspiration, or just plain weird?

Somewhere around 8 months ago or longer, I bought some Amaryllis bulbs from Home Depot. I never got around to planting them and had instead tossed them into my storage shed and forgot about them. Recently I went in there to get something out of it, and noticed that one of the bulbs had sprouted and even bloomed. Yes, in pitch blackness with no soil or water. It was just sitting there on top of a pet carrier. Now that's determination damnit! But the cool part was that though the flower itself was the nice brilliant red that it's supposed to be, the stem was as white as the driven snow! The picture below is about two days after I discovered this and planted the bulbs, and already a slight greenish hue had begun to creep into the stem. I guess it just goes to show that if you really want to do something, nothing can stop you, heh.

Fast food causes stupidity!

And you don't even have to eat the stuff... Just working near it is enough to lower your IQ to that of a cerebrally challenged ostrich!

In my quest for the delicious banana-chocolate milkshake I once had a fast food restaurant nearby, I decided to try Jack In The Box, since I couldn't recall which fat franchise I'd found them at. So I drive up to the speaker and upon looking at the menu, I see they have a strawberry-banana shake. Hmmm, that's pretty close and I know these places tend to rotate their specialty shake flavor now and then, so this may have been it. Word for word, this is how my simple milkshake question went:

guy: "Hello, can I take your order?"
me: "Well I have a question. Did you have chocolate-banana milkshakes?"
guy: "Yes, would you like small, medium or large?"
me: "You still have them? But it's not on the menu anymore."
guy: "Oh, chocolate-banana, no we don't have that, we only have strawberry-banana."
me: "Okay, well, did you used to have chocolate-banana though?"
guy: "We only have strawberry-banana and regular chocolate."
me: "Yeah, I understand that, but did you have the chocolate-banana at one time?"
guy: "Uhhhh...... [long pause] we don't have chocolate-banana."
me: "Okay, you obviously don't understand me through the speaker... Gimme an Oreo shake and I'll ask my question at the window."
guy: "Thank you, anything else?"
me: (mumbling) "The phone number of the monkey you sold your brain to."
[I drive through to the window and watch the guy fill up my shake making sure he doesn't spit in it or something]
me: "Okay, I understand you don't have the chocolate-banana NOW. I only want to know if you USED TO have it, like a long time ago, like a year ago. I got one near here once and I can't remember if it was Jack In The Box or Carl's Junior that had them. I only want to know if this is the place that DID have them at one time. Do you understand my question now?"
guy: [smiles and laughs nervously] "Oh, I see now, heh." [walks away and doesn't return]

WHAT THE SHIT!?!?! Was I speaking Medievil Latin? This guy was completely 100% utterly confused by my question about milkshakes. I just pray I don't run into a lobotomized sloth at the drive-thru when I try asking my question over at Carl's Junior.

*sigh* Why are stupid people still allowed to breed?

If only he knew

While in Montreal last month and out with a group of people doing a little sight-seeing, I was compelled to take this photo:



The man feeding the horse was smiling and waving, completely oblivious to why a group of supposed adults were standing there with their cameras pointed at his horse and giggling.

Oh, yeah there was some pretty scenery in Montreal too.

I think this means I'm bored

No, those are not rocks you see on the sidewalk just below my livingroom window. Those are coins. Two nickels, a dime, a quarter and a penny. And they're all glued down! Bwahahahahahaha!!!

*gets camera ready*

God I hate insomnia.

Is the food really *that* bad?

Okay... My dog just did the weirdest thing I've ever seen. More weird than the time my mom's dog farted audibly, sniffed her butt, and started gagging in the driveway. More weird than my yorkie who used to poop in the kitchen and push the turds under the fridge to hide them before I came home. This is just..... strange.

I feed my miniature schnauzer in the bedroom and my yorkie in the kitchen since the yorkie is on a special prescription diet and they can't eat each other's type of dog food. Anyway, I went into the bedroom to let the schnauzer out after she'd eaten, and found that one of my dirty socks was in the dish on top of the food. I thought that was a bit strange, but when I reached down to pick it up, I found that the other sock was in there too! And no, not just some other random sock she found on my floor (I admit, there are a few) but she managed to pick out a matching pair! What the hell???

I'm declaring all my animals officially insane. And I have to wonder if my knack for ending up with such bizarre pets is cooincidence or if it's something to do with their upbringing.......

Big ass tarantula motherfucker

I stepped out of the shower a moment ago to encounter this on my wall...



This thing was at least an inch long. Bleh!!! And if you're not familiar with this type of spider (they always get in my apartment somehow) they jump. And they can jump far. And fast. I had one leap out from under a plate at my hand one morning while I was making coffee.

FOR THE LOVE OF JOE SOMEONE MAKE THESE HAIRY BASTARDS EXTINCT!

*heebiejeebies heebiejeebies heebiejeebies*

Another dollar store gem

I hope this doesn't run in the family

If it does, I'm doomed. My uncle:

Arguing with a packrat

Packrat: n. Any of several bushy-tailed rodents of the genus Neotoma of western North America; hoards food and other objects.

Also known as my mother.

I meant to write about this a couple months ago when my mother moved into her new house, but forgot about it until I investigated the contents of my digital camera.

Several years ago while living with my mom, I cleaned out a closet where we kept a large collection of books. I can't recall what prompted me to take on such a project, but in the process, I found a users manual for Microsoft Word 6.0. I don't recall what version of Word was out at that time, but I do know technology was well beyond the version for which I found this manual. I tossed the book onto a pile I'd started on the floor of books/manuals/etc that was going to end up kindling for the fireplace. (note: I'd never throw away a perfectly good book, I was only getting rid of things that no one would ever have a need for again, not even at the Goodwill store.) After completing my task of organizing the hundreds of books we owned, I went to gather up the trash pile and discovered that the Word 6.0 manual was missing. I didn't think much of it, and continued about my business.

Not long after, the manual mysteriously reappeared in the closet.

I asked my mother about it, realizing she'd scavenged it from the pile when I wasn't looking, and if I recall correctly, we ended up in an arguement about "packrats." I asked her to explain to me why on earth she'd need a manual for a program that was not only outdated, but that we didn't even own the installation disks for any longer. I mean, the installation was on floppy disks ffs! Hel-loooo, welcome to the world of CD's mom! She tried convincing me that even though there were new versions of the program out there, the old manual still provided lots of useful tips on using today's program... "I know it hasn't changed that much" she argued. I wasn't buying it. I told her that if she wanted to learn some more on how to effectively use one of the world's already easiestprograms out there, she ought to look at the manual that came with her new computer as the latest version of MS Word was on it. (I guess this would have been around 1998) With that, I snatched up the manual and personally walked it out to the trash can in the garage to make sure it reached its destination.

Approximately two years ago, we were cleaning the house thoroughly in preparation to put it on the market for sale, and I found myself once again cleaning out the book closet. The closet had somehow become a mess again, and a new trash pile had been started at my feet. Lo and behold, the MS Word 6.0 manual appeared hidden behind piles of Dean Koontz paperbacks! Rather than bring it up and probably start another arguement about it, I tossed it out quietly, certain that it would make it to the dumps this time. I should note that we had already been arguing about "packrats" during this extensive cleaning process due to all the other items laying about which were obviously of no use to anyone but my mother refused to let go of. This, and the fact that we hadn't slept much and tempers were running short led to a series of small arguements throughout the few days we worked on the house. But damnit, that MS Word 6.0 manual was surely going in the trash this time! We finished our cleaning, got the house on the market, and a few months later it was sold. I helped my mom move into the house she was going to rent while she searched for a place to buy, and thank goodness, the dreaded manual did not turn up.

Until now.

About 2 months ago, my mom finally found the house of her dreams, and I once again found myself helping her move. As I was cleaning out a file cabinet, I think I heard my mom quietly say "Uh oh." I asked what was wrong, and her face turned a bit red as she leaned past me to open one of the drawers I had not yet started on. And there it was. The damn MS Word 6.0 manual!! Covered in coffee and other unidentifiable stains, partially hidden beneath some old tax documents, but there it was plain as day! She admitted to having found it every single time I tried to get rid of it until she finally hid the damn thing from me knowing my reaction if I'd found it. We had a pretty good laugh, and I couldn't help but take a picture of it as evidence of one of the longest-standing debates we'd ever endured together.



Luckily, this time she gladly agreed to throw it away after having moved a couple times and learning that the less junk you own, the less junk you have to move. I tossed it into the garbage bag in the kitchen, glad to finally be rid of this plague, and we moved her into her lovely new home. She's not likely to move again for the rest of her life, and I have to wonder what bits of useless junk I'm going to find when the dreaded time of her earthly departure comes and I'm left in charge of caring for the house, but I can't help but harbor a quiet fear thatsomehow I'm going to stumble upon this book once more.

Should that happen, I will be sure to bury her with it.

Rant? Oh I think so!

Let this be a warning to you: NEVER BOOK A FLIGHT THROUGH TRAVELOCITY.COM!!! And here's why:

Last night I booked a trip to Boston and was quite happy with my reservation. I had great flight times, got to pick a window seat on every flight, and paid a pretty decent fare of $304. Today I got an email from them saying my flight couldn't be ticketed because they "needed extra information from me" (they didn't tell me why in the email) and they asked that I call their customer service department ASAP. So I immediately called to see what's up and waited on hold for about 40 minutes. Elevator music for long periods of time makes for some very unhappy people by the time they finally answer your call. I was a prime example, ready to put a hit out on every classical and jazz artist on the face of the earth by this point. I figured they had some trouble figuring out what to do since I used a check-card instead of a regular credit card this time, or some other mindless reason that would freak the call-center peons out.

Finally, a woman with a thick Spanish accent answers the phone and I could hardly make out what she was saying. I immediately remembered seeing a separate number to call if you spoke Spanish and wondered why she hadn't been assigned to that call center instead. But I cohersed her into speaking slowly for me, and proceeded to ask what the problem was. It turned out they didn't need any additional information from me, but rather they wanted to tell me that for some odd reason my ticket price had gone up to $440. I don't think so!!! I explained to her that they've already charged my account (yes, I checked this first thing in the morning to confirm that my reservation had gone through without a hitch) and that they can't go changing rates on people who've already paid. I also mentioned the term "false advertising" but I don't think the woman understood what I was saying. Completely irate and unwilling to deal with her any longer, I demanded to speak to a manager. She tells me that it was a very long wait to speak to a supervisor. Longer than I waited on hold to begin with? Shit - this was ridiculous! I mentioned that I'm guessing there was such a long wait for a supervisor because many individuals like myself have realized that their business practices are shit and didn't want to deal with the rude call center employees. Again, I don't think she understood a word I said.

While waiting on hold, I started checking other travel websites looking for other flights with a more reasonable price. Lo and behold I find one on the SAME EXACT FLIGHTS as my original reservation with travelocity.com and for a price of $308. Not bad... So I booked it and hung up after about 5 minutes of holding for a manager who probably would not have answered for another hour because I'm sure he was warned that he was going to get an earful when he took the call. Lucky for him I hung up.

I read the terms for this other online air ticketing company thoroughly to make sure they don't have any glitches like "We don't guarentee the rate we quote you until we actually ticket your trip, which we probably won't do because we want to raise the rates by $106 after you book" and luckily I didn't find one. They seem pretty straight forward, unlike this shady travelocity.com.

So chalk this up as another lesson learned in who NOT to do business with. Ever.

[/end rant]

In case you wondered

A satellite photo of mi casa, or more importantly, where my dogs prefer to deficate.

Useless crap wonderland

...AKA The Dollar Store.

Ahhh what a mecca of silly junk! That's not to say there aren't some neat and even useful things there (picked up a nice candle-holder for $3.99) but the vast majority of those stores deal in junk. Junk I felt compelled to photograph some of...

First, some weird baby-playing-with-his-wang statues:
(click for full size)



And here's a notepad and pen set, obviously made for the "working girl"... Look! It even says "Hussy" on it!



And here we have two examples of why the Japanese shouldn't write in English without spell/grammar checkers:
(you have to click 'em yourserf for large size to thrill you like do.)



And finally, a weird bobbing-head-dog-air-freshener for your car. And quite possibly the ugliest thing I have ever seen. Not even a Mr-T gold chain could make this thing cool.



And there you go folks, just a taste of some of the crap you'll find at the dollar store! I swear, that place is magic. Okay, maybe it's not magic. But it would take magic to convince your kids that any toy bought there was not crap or worth a better fate than a test-pilot for the uber-neat rocket kit any decent parent would buy their kid. So quit reading this and go to a real store ya cheap bastard!!! .....Unless useless crap is your bag baby, and in that case, this is your wonderland.

My version of creativity

Today I was looking for something in my glovebox, and came across a long-forgotten mangled doll head:



I guess this in itself needs some explaining. Ever since my first car broke down in highschool and I was forced to drive a piece of shit Chevrolet Cavalier with the roof rusting out, a distinct smell of mildew eminating from the floor, and a million other reasons to hate this machine, I decided that I was going to make that piece of shit as shitty as I could. So no happy little Jack-In-The-Box or 76 Gas antenna ball would do... No, those were just too cheery for this car. Since I had a Barbie doll head with a nail driven through it for a mirror ornament, I decided to stick with the doll head theme for my antenna as well. I went through several of these little gems, and unfortunately my favorite one got stolen. (it featured a blue mohawk) But the last one my Cavalier proudly donned through my first year of college found its final resting place in my glovebox, to lie dormant and at peace.... until today. I should note that this thing was actually clean when I got my hands on it. Those "dollar stores" are a great place to find cheap baby heads for mutilation, and this particular head had her hair colored black with a Sharpie marker, her eyes and mouth completely blacked out, and the word "CUNT" etched across her forehead. All this has sadly faded away with the exception of her lips and eyes, but c'mon, aint she still a looker!

Well, today I bought one of those hot glue guns and some fake sunflowers with the intention of making a little housewarming gift for my mother in her new house, when I figured I oughtta resurrect the beloved evil doll. So I decided to make myself a little key holder to hang by the door, since I'm always forgetting where I put my keys when I need to leave in a hurry. And look out Martha Fucking Stewart!

Just testing

Yeah, hard drive failures are a bitch. Especially when it's the hard drive your site resides on! So I've been working my butt off trying to get things working again, and by jove, I think I've got it! Just gotta run a couple tests and I should be good to go. (this is one of them)

Bling Bling (yo)!

Ok, I was in Hayward, CA yesterday driving down Mission Blvd. and I happened upon probably the funniest storefront I have ever seen. Need some gold teeth, perhaps with "Bling Bling" or maybe "Dolla dolla billz yo" engraved into them? Well shop no more! At Mr. Bling's your wish can finally come true! Come on in and let them fuck up your mouth forever! Yay!

Yum.

So there has been a mystery odor eminating from my refrigerator for a while now, but all my attempts at finding the culprit failed miserably. FINALLY though, I dug into the back of the fridge, further than any man has dared go before, past the year old jar of pickle relish, the prehistoric bottle of mustard, the unmentionable condiments having expired ages ago that everyone refuses to admit having stashed away in the depths of the frigidaire, I found the vile fiend. And ohhhhh was it vile! I present you with... THANKSGIVING TURKEY! I shit you not, the bag of mold and rotting flesh you see below was once leftover turkey from Thanksgiving dinner. Careful, I think it looked at me and I was sure I saw it move!



And while on the subject of food, today I bought a butternut squash. The most phallic vegetable I've seen so far.



Hungry now?

Regarding those bladder stones

Yeah, I know, no picture of them yet. They're still sitting in a little vial of pee (I'm guessing it's pee anyway, it's yellow) on my computer desk. So I was thinking... What should I do with them? Perhaps I could incoporate them into some kind of twisted piece of jewelry. Or maybe a painting of a pebble beach, and I could glue on real pebbles! Hmmm. The possibilities are pretty much endless.

So if anyone has any suggestions of what to do with these bladder stones here, post a comment and let me know!

This can't be good

I noticed recently that while I'm on a long video game binge, I tend to drink a bit too much of my favorite soda: Mountain Dew. This revelation came as I noticed I didn't have room on my computer desk to set down a cold can that I pulled out of my fridge. Wonder why....

A new view of superheroes

If the Hello Kitty Douche and Vibrator I posted yesterday didn't scare you, THIS should:



I will never see Marvel in the same light again.

Juvenile at times? You bet I am!

Recently, I was up at my mother's house and between her place and town, there was a certain street sign that brought out the child in me everytime I passed it:



Yeah, you guessed it. Every single time I passed this sign, I found myself doing my best Beavis and Butthead voices, saying "Uh huh huh huh, butt...." But what was even better was when I drove my mother past the sign, and caught her quietly do the same exact thing! Ahhhh, those are the moments when I realize just how awesome my mom really is.

Oh, and for all the online gamers out there, I also passed by this sign:

Happy V.D.!

And what better way to say "I love you" than with Hello Kitty stuff! Your woman is guarenteed to love the Hello Kitty Vibrator, and for the woman with the funk, how about some Hello Kitty Douche?

Since we're on the subject of my dogs

Here's Gremlin, getting her head groomed by Smax, and thoroughly enjoying it:

Bonzai!

Well, my dog's okay now. I haven't yet taken any pics of the stones that came out of him, but I'll get around to it. He's back to normal though, so I'm happy. Unfortunately, he's got to be on pills twice a day to control the PH of his urine, but they don't cost much, so it's no big deal. Anyway, here's a couple pictures of him running at full speed which I just had to post for Jason since they give him such a good laugh when he sees 'em!



Oh, and here's an old one of him just being all cute and stuff:

Stones of gold?

So my dog has been having this recurring bladder infection. Then, starting yesterday, he couldn't pee at all... He'd try and try, but nothing would come out. So I rushed him to the vet this morning and yikes - bladder stones like a mofo! Not only is his bladder full of stones, but he's got two blocking his urethra which they were unable to flush back up into the bladder. So what's that mean? Lengthy surgery. Expensive surgery. ONE THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY DOLLAR SURGERY! Well sheeeyit. But hey, I get to keep the stones... yippee. All I can say is, they BETTER BE MADE OF GOLD DAMNIT! I'll be sure and post a pic of the little gems that came out of my dog's weiner when he gets home from the vet's office.

In the meantime, ph34r my octopus bathtub stopper!

Since Bru asked...

Here's a photo from my little outing to the beach that might NOT churn your stomach...

Ah, the beach

Upon visiting my hometown today, I stopped off at the beach to photograph the incredible 30 foot waves at Maverick's. And I guess it goes to show what a sicko I am that a rotting seagull head sticking up out of the sand caught my interest more than the beautiful landscape around me. Ah well...

Well happy freakin new year

Not that I really celebrate it, 'cause I think it's overrated, but I'm sure most of you do, so hope it was a good one for ya!! And um, well....

I LOVE MINDLESS STUPIDITY!---> Go on, click it!



WTF?