Off to Grandmother's house we go

Over the weekend I spent some time at my grandmother's house visiting with her and my father and his girlfriend. Much of the time spent there was helping her clean out the garage and organize my late grandfather's tools. And from this, I learned that I've got the absolute coolest grandmother on earth.

I opened up a large cabinet, about 3 feet wide, a couple feet deep and about 7 feet tall, filled wall to wall with various liquors. Now don't get me wrong, my grandmother is not a lush by any means, and most of what was in there is probably no good anyway (most bottles were horribly covered in dust) and I rarely see her drink any alcohol save for a glass of wine with dinner, but I noticed a neat pirate ship shaped decanter marked "Homemade Kahlua" and gave my grandmother a sideways glance. "Oh, I know a few recipies," she said grinning, and then I noticed the bottle that had been behind the kahlua.... A plain clear bottle marked in my grandmother's handwriting "Moonshine / White Lightning" and sure enough, upon opening it up to smell it, it was the real stuff. I wonder if I could persuade her to make me a bottle of it, heehee.

Oh, and I got to snag a few interesting antiques, including this old Dodgers bobble-head from who knows what era. After my father and I shamed my grandfather privately for having a Dodgers bobble-head and not a SF Giants version, we decided I'd give it the best home being the biggest baseball fan in the family.

Cat in the box

My kitty has decided to make his new bed out of a suitcase from a recent trip. I just love how his fat molds to the shape of it though.

Inspiration, or just plain weird?

Somewhere around 8 months ago or longer, I bought some Amaryllis bulbs from Home Depot. I never got around to planting them and had instead tossed them into my storage shed and forgot about them. Recently I went in there to get something out of it, and noticed that one of the bulbs had sprouted and even bloomed. Yes, in pitch blackness with no soil or water. It was just sitting there on top of a pet carrier. Now that's determination damnit! But the cool part was that though the flower itself was the nice brilliant red that it's supposed to be, the stem was as white as the driven snow! The picture below is about two days after I discovered this and planted the bulbs, and already a slight greenish hue had begun to creep into the stem. I guess it just goes to show that if you really want to do something, nothing can stop you, heh.

Fast food causes stupidity!

And you don't even have to eat the stuff... Just working near it is enough to lower your IQ to that of a cerebrally challenged ostrich!

In my quest for the delicious banana-chocolate milkshake I once had a fast food restaurant nearby, I decided to try Jack In The Box, since I couldn't recall which fat franchise I'd found them at. So I drive up to the speaker and upon looking at the menu, I see they have a strawberry-banana shake. Hmmm, that's pretty close and I know these places tend to rotate their specialty shake flavor now and then, so this may have been it. Word for word, this is how my simple milkshake question went:

guy: "Hello, can I take your order?"
me: "Well I have a question. Did you have chocolate-banana milkshakes?"
guy: "Yes, would you like small, medium or large?"
me: "You still have them? But it's not on the menu anymore."
guy: "Oh, chocolate-banana, no we don't have that, we only have strawberry-banana."
me: "Okay, well, did you used to have chocolate-banana though?"
guy: "We only have strawberry-banana and regular chocolate."
me: "Yeah, I understand that, but did you have the chocolate-banana at one time?"
guy: "Uhhhh...... [long pause] we don't have chocolate-banana."
me: "Okay, you obviously don't understand me through the speaker... Gimme an Oreo shake and I'll ask my question at the window."
guy: "Thank you, anything else?"
me: (mumbling) "The phone number of the monkey you sold your brain to."
[I drive through to the window and watch the guy fill up my shake making sure he doesn't spit in it or something]
me: "Okay, I understand you don't have the chocolate-banana NOW. I only want to know if you USED TO have it, like a long time ago, like a year ago. I got one near here once and I can't remember if it was Jack In The Box or Carl's Junior that had them. I only want to know if this is the place that DID have them at one time. Do you understand my question now?"
guy: [smiles and laughs nervously] "Oh, I see now, heh." [walks away and doesn't return]

WHAT THE SHIT!?!?! Was I speaking Medievil Latin? This guy was completely 100% utterly confused by my question about milkshakes. I just pray I don't run into a lobotomized sloth at the drive-thru when I try asking my question over at Carl's Junior.

*sigh* Why are stupid people still allowed to breed?

If only he knew

While in Montreal last month and out with a group of people doing a little sight-seeing, I was compelled to take this photo:



The man feeding the horse was smiling and waving, completely oblivious to why a group of supposed adults were standing there with their cameras pointed at his horse and giggling.

Oh, yeah there was some pretty scenery in Montreal too.

I think this means I'm bored

No, those are not rocks you see on the sidewalk just below my livingroom window. Those are coins. Two nickels, a dime, a quarter and a penny. And they're all glued down! Bwahahahahahaha!!!

*gets camera ready*

God I hate insomnia.

Is the food really *that* bad?

Okay... My dog just did the weirdest thing I've ever seen. More weird than the time my mom's dog farted audibly, sniffed her butt, and started gagging in the driveway. More weird than my yorkie who used to poop in the kitchen and push the turds under the fridge to hide them before I came home. This is just..... strange.

I feed my miniature schnauzer in the bedroom and my yorkie in the kitchen since the yorkie is on a special prescription diet and they can't eat each other's type of dog food. Anyway, I went into the bedroom to let the schnauzer out after she'd eaten, and found that one of my dirty socks was in the dish on top of the food. I thought that was a bit strange, but when I reached down to pick it up, I found that the other sock was in there too! And no, not just some other random sock she found on my floor (I admit, there are a few) but she managed to pick out a matching pair! What the hell???

I'm declaring all my animals officially insane. And I have to wonder if my knack for ending up with such bizarre pets is cooincidence or if it's something to do with their upbringing.......